The Curious Incident of Cow in the Night Time…

Circa 2005 A.D. It was the night before my exam – Class XII Boards to be precise. I had my Physics exam the next day, and I was busy trying to cram up the derivations. Now, the Boards in my era were very important. Every neighborhood aunt and her Mother-in-Law would be concerned with how your “Boards” went.

I went to a school where fortunately we were given at least 3 pre-board examinations. Unfortunately, my Physics was still bad – bad enough to force me to burn the midnight oil late into – well, midnight. You see, the school does not really bother with you doing your Board’s well. It is more worried about getting the elusive 100% result printed in its admission brochure, so that the Teachers get a nice pay-hike and the school earns some moolah.

Now, about that dark, brooding night. As the clock ticked and tocked, the derivations in my mind began playing hide and seek more aggressively. And I began to panic. Invisible beads of sweat started forming on my forehead and I was certain that my heartbeat had started racing up. In a bid to escape from stress, I decided to sleep it over; comforting myself that I was prepared and it was only my mind playing tricks – nothing that a night of sleep couldn’t cure.

And then, happened the incident. A cow came over – yes, at midnight – and stood right outside my room’s window. And then, it sang. That is what it can be called. The cow “moo-ed” up, and “moo-ed” down. it “moo-ed” all around. Never before had a cow come next to my window in the history of history. Never had a cow come at night in our colony. And here it was, in the night just before my goddamn Boards, enthralling the Bats and other creatures of the night with its sweet “moos”.


The Moo-s never did they stop. And I could not sleep. Tragedy, tragedy – I could not even study under its cacophony. The cow – was it a plant sent over by a zealous rival from school? Or from a wicked neighbor?? I don’t know. And I will never know now too.

Maybe the cow was a well-wisher, wishing me luck before the “D-Day”. Or, maybe it was an extra-terrestial experiment – afterall, who has seen a cow in the night-time. It is even remotely possible, that the cow was a long-dead ancestor, who had come to wish me via a holy cow. So, you see – the possibilities are endless. And also, pointless.

But it is fun to reminiscence, how a cow came out of a worm-hole, just to moo and bray, at the oddest hour possible. Funny thing, the cow never came ever again. Never.The holy cow chose one fine day night to make its red-carpet appearance by my window sill. And what a concert it was.

I ended up in the exam hall the next day, deeply shaken but not stirred – a’la James Bond. Eyes red and mind muddled. So how did my exam go? Suffice to say, it was bad. After all, I was forced to attend the concert of a cow the night back.

So, was there a silver lining? Yes. The question paper was tough, so everybody ended up screwing the paper. In hindsight, even if I had studied those couple of hours extra, it would have served me no good. Maybe the cow was trying to leak the paper to me, or advise me against studying harder. Stupid me, I was just not listening to it.

I wish that cow is alive today, and I hope it has found its true place under the moon – Bovine Justin Beiber.