All Hail God !!

Beware! There is a new breed of fundamentalists at loose in the society. They are aggressive, they are abusive and they tolerate no dissent. I came across them in the Republic of Facebookistan. They apparently are also a very vocal majority in places like Unites States of Twitteristan and Republic of Rediff-ia.

I always think of paying obeisance to god before starting with a post. I have ample choices in this regard. At last count, there were 33,000,000 Hindu gods, one Muslim god, and three Christian gods – bringing the grand total of my choices to 33,000,004. I could choose any one of them and proceed with my work. But then it hit me. There was a new entrant in this elite club of 33,000,004. And it was essential that I bow my head to this new entrant irrespective of my faith or whim. Presenting Sachin Tendulkar..

The God

The God

This universal fact – Sachin Is God – has been thrown on me all over the country. From the seedy bars of Moradabad to the glitzy pubs of Bangalore, from stinking beaches of Madras to dingy alleys of Delhi. It is a non-negotiable fact – because duh, it is a fact that is universal. My stupidity has been exposed time and again by the devotees of Sri Sri Sachin baba. After all, statistics prove that Sachin is our God. And religion is after all, a science. Faith needs numbers to back it up.

I always thought Sachin was a great athlete – a prodigy. Or a once in a generation cricketer. I think his superhuman miracles have been eluding me because I have been sitting huddled in a cave. My Bad!!

I still remember, the day he decided to retire from one days. The frenzy of the fans – they declared “Cricket” dead that day. Trillions of devotees declared that they would stop watching One Day Internationals. Billions declared that they would stop watching cricket altogether  Never mind, if IPL is the only cricket they have ever seen.

But do we remember the day when Sachin was booed in Wankhede? And do we remember telling our friends that it is time that Sachin should retire and make way for youth?? Do we remember arguing in favor of his retirement? No, our memories are so loyal. They only exist as we want them to. We only remember what we want to remember. In extremes.

If I was Sachin, I would probably sit in the corner of a cricket field and weep. Weep out loud. Weep at the IQ of my fans. Weep at the replacement MY loyal devotees brought – a certain Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Weep at the blindness of fans to not see true genius. Weep at the whimsical nature of fans, which makes them make a god of a mortal, and which then makes them trash the same god. Weep at the stubbornness of fans to lose faith in their gods. And weep at the illusion of power the fans have, that they control time.

While I decide whether to accept an imperfect god, maybe the devotees can start looking for their next messiah. A few already have hopes from the Son of God. Till you make up your minds, let me begin…

Long Live Lord Sachin!!

While Heroes Rise And Heroes Fall…


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